• Courtney McLane Mize

The Perfect Wedding Night

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Doing Twenty Something, and if it’s your first time here, welcome! Thank you for stopping by! I definitely feel like I am pushing the envelope a little bit with this week’s Wedding Wednesday post, but there are just so many things that are not discussed when it comes to weddings and being a newlywed. Like a lot of things. I know I have been sharing my favorite tips and tricks regarding wedding planning, but I want Doing Twenty Something to be as authentic and honest of a place as possible. This week I am shifting gears a little, and I am slightly nervous about it, but if just one other woman reading this feels like they can relate, they feel a little better, or more relaxed, then it will be worth it. So this week we aren’t talking about planning your big day, we are talking about your big night. That’s right, your wedding night.

How many of us feel like there are so many expectations leading up to our wedding night? Whether you are saving yourself for marriage or have a long-standing physical history with your fiancé, the wedding night is THE night. We are supposed to get back to our hotel room, not tired at all and with no evidence that we have been drinking and dancing in a 12 lb gown for the past three hours. We gracefully make our way out of our wedding dress, emerge from the bathroom with low lighting, in white lingerie with our hair looking like a Victoria’s Secret angel. Candles are somehow magically lit on the nightstands before we even make our way to the bed, our eyes slowly meet our husbands, and with just one look we are fully engulfed in a night full of unearthly love and passion.

Is this not the expectation that we have? That our wedding night will somehow end up like a scene from our favorite rom-com movie and if it doesn’t go just as planned, then the night is ruined? I don’t even know how this expectation for the perfect wedding night started, and I’m sure for some people that’s actually how their night goes. Kudos to all of you! But I think that a perfect wedding night is different for everyone, and for whatever reason, no one ever talks about their wedding night turning out any different than these Hollywood magic movie scenes we have burned in our brains. Until now. I am here to talk to all the current bride-to-be’s, and really anyone who wants to ever be a bride. You are worrying about so much planning your wedding, that creating the perfect wedding night either isn’t on your mind until the very last minute, or is stressing you out to the max. Relax girl. Take a breath. Let me talk to you for a second.

Here are some thing that you may, or may not know about your wedding day.

  • It starts off early. Most bridal parties are up at ‘em by 7:00AM, maybe even earlier.

  • Every emotion you could possibly feel, you feel on your wedding day. Excited, nervous, anxious, happy, sad, hangry, ecstatic, stressed, and happy again, that’s pretty much how your day goes.

  • Unless you’re getting married in the dead of winter, you will be sweaty. It might not look like it to everyone else, but underneath the veil, it’s like you just ran a marathon. Your spray tan will likely rub off on the inside of your dress. Thankfully you have ten layers of fabric on to absorb the sweat, but trust me, it’s there.

  • Once you survive this time crunch of a day, not messing up during your vows, wrangling your relatives for family pictures, cutting your cake and not getting to eat it, you FINALLY get to relax. Relaxing includes finding a drink, and trying to politely break away from mingling with your guests so you can go full on prom style fan girl to 24K Magic.

  • Then, after this jam-packed, 14, 15, 17 hour day, you get back to your hotel room. Time to get down to business, right? Wrong. I mean if you and your hubby are ready to go, don’t let this blog post stop you! But can I tell you how I felt coming back to the room?

Happy. And exhausted. And so in love with my husband. And so ready to just CHILL. Exfoliating my airbrush makeup and taking off my fake eyelashes had never been more exciting. Putting on my favorite t-shirt of all time, yes the one that has a hole in each sleeve, had never felt more comfortable. Snuggling in bed with Tyler, I had never felt more at home. And eating leftover appetizers (that were cold) and gluten free wedding cake in bed had never been more satiating. Our wedding night was the farthest thing from what movies tell us it should be.

Side note: I had actually forgotten the lingerie I was supposed to wear that night in Texas (we moved three weeks before our wedding) and had my sister call my sister-in-law, asking her go to my leasing office, get a spare key to our new apartment, and sift through our half unpacked closet to find said lingerie and bring it to me. Needless to say, that was useless. Sorry Beth.

Our wedding night was spent in bed, buried in wedding cards, with cold leftovers, and my favorite husband. Was it glamorous? No. Was it sexy? Not really. Was it movie-worthy? Nope. But it was absolutely perfect.

So if you are getting married soon, or a year from now, or dream of ever having your big wedding night, just know that no matter how your night turns out, it’s okay. Your night is however you want it to be. Don’t let this “pressure” of your wedding night take away from the joy of your wedding night. Don’t feel like you have to be something on your wedding night if you are just straight up tired.

As much as this post sounds weird and out of the ordinary, this situation is actually pretty ordinary. And I just wanted other sisters out there to know, there is absolutely zero reason to stress about your wedding night. After all, you’re married. You have a lifetime of “perfect wedding night’s” ahead of you.